"The Roller Coaster" by Melissa Bouchard

An excerpt from Melissa's story:

"Once we got home, I decided that was the moment I needed to tell her. Looking into her innocent blue eyes looking up at me made me realize that I needed to be as strong as I possibly could, and that I needed to fight with everything I had so I could be here and watch her grow up. I truly believe that my mom was sitting next to me on the couch at that moment and was holding my hand while I explained to my daughter that I was sick, and that life was going to be very different from here on out. 

After explaining to her what was going on, I felt a calmness, yet I was also shaking. This moment was the first time I felt like I could beat this and show strength while doing it. My mom had a sign on her hospital door that read Positive Mental Attitude and you were not allowed in without it. I would often remind myself of this each time I felt like I was losing my positivity and starting to go down the wrong path. Knowing what it was like watching my mom in so much pain and that helpless feeling also gave me the strength to fight because I didn’t want my daughter to have these same memories. Shoveling dirt on a wooden casket and having to visit a stone instead of seeing my mom in person, was not the journey I wanted for my daughter.

I realized that once I was diagnosed, I was still on a rollercoaster but this time I was a little more in control because this time I was the mom, and I had a daughter to protect and stay alive for. I realized that instead of the wooden one, I was now riding Hagrid’s roller coaster. I was in the motorcycle seat and Public and my daughter were in the side car. She’s along for my journey like I was for my mom, and as much as I was scared and nervous over every hill, I knew she was safe. Instead of her knowing how nervous I was inside, I smiled and laughed with her to show her comfort and joy. It was always important to me to show her how to find joy in every situation and to celebrate every bump, hill, twist and turn even when you’re scared, and feel completely out of control."